And knowing is half the battle.*

I finally, finally know what's wrong with me. After writing a long, rambling entry about inability to focus, loss of sleep, loss of all sorts of things, I went to the library and a book literally jumped out of the shelf and landed in my arms. I never expected that there was actually a term for what I'm feeling. I thought I was just an overly protective, very worried mother, who was just plain ol' going crazy with worry that her only son would die. While this is still the case, I'm really relieved to know that there's a name for this, other than Peacemongermom Is a Nutbag. It's called anticipatory grieving, and when I read a passage from this book that described my actions to an alarming "T" recently, I engaged in a rather relieved, full-on crying fit. Nosebleed included.

If you know anyone in the military, or anyone who has a family member in the military, you need to read this book. This is a book that someone should read to Bush, since we all know that he doesn't read. This is a book that should replace that book about the fucking history of salt that the Chimpresident read summer before last (riiiight, he read that along with this, this, and this).

And clearly, since you are reading this blog, you know someone who has a family member in the military. And I really, honestly think that you know more people fighting this war than you realize.


*Rather ironic, isn't it?