Peacemonger Mom

My son just enlisted in the military. I'm a peace activist. Why couldn't he have rebelled in some other way, like being republican?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose

After working without ceasing for over three weeks on my thesis - and by "working without ceasing," I am talking about getting out of bed, walking to my desk with a cup of coffee, firing up my mac, and opening up the newest round of unending edits from Dr. C and not stopping work until it was time to go to bed...frequently at 3 am - I found out today that I cannot graduate with my friends in August. Here are the things that I thought first:

--my paper really is as bad as I thought.
--I am a severe and incredible failure.
--I am not supposed to be doing this and dropping out would save me a bunch of cash.
--I will never stop receiving edits from Dr. C.
--I am in hell.

After yet another round of hysterics and a good long discussion with three of the greatest people in the world - Courtney, MJ and Gary - I began to look at this completely differently.

I can take my thesis back. It had gotten out of control and I had long ago stopped feeling that I was doing much more than taking transcription. Why this happened the way that it did is not important to me - I know that I have done more than I'm required to do in order to graduate by at least three times. Dr. C said I had at least two theses, possibly three, in my one thesis, but this still, of course, is not quite enough. I don't have the required thesis, completed and defended, and I won't have it by 7/20 which is the deadline. And in order for me to meet that deadline, Dr. C said she would have to have "another day like yesterday," when she spent all day on my thesis...sort of like my past 21 days have been. Guess what I haven't done recently?

--Walked the dog
--Shopped for food
--Cleaned the house
--Written for fun
--Enjoyed life

Guess what I'm not doing now? Thesising. Guess what else I'm doing? Shopping for other schools. And smiling.


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