Stress? What's That?

I seem to be running a real theme here. I am severely stressed. I have scurried off to my empty office on a beautiful Saturday just to get out of the house - not because I'm irritated with TG or SILy (we have had issues before - TG can be rather conservative in her thinking, and I have a tendency to, well, not. Obviously). Anyway, I had to scurry out of the house because I am really tired of having interpersonal contact. We are in a VERY VERY SMALL apartment, and there are the four of us, the dog, their two cats, and their fish tank. I am accustomed to making the morning coffee in the nude. I am not accustomed to keeping my bedroom door closed or having to restrict what I say to Hon. This, as does any sort of big change, has sort of thrown me off kilter.

Add to the mix that I have, again, screwed up our finances. This is becoming a running theme. First there was the credit card that I thought I was paying off, but instead, I sent a $600 check to a credit card with a zero balance on it. Yeah. That was great. Then there was the great drawing I won over Labor Day - $100 off our rent. Well, I had already paid the rent, so the manager says she will shred the check, and I can drop off another check. The first check never got shredded, our account was overdrawn (altho management has said they will cover those charges) and essentially our rent is paid through October and a little ways into November. In that I was paying the water bill as well, and it was almost one month behind (this whole issue of helping TB out with his car really did have ripples that I didn't anticipate), our water bill is now paid probably into the next year.

Adding to this incredible mess is that Hon's time sheet wasn't dealt with at work, and he didn't get paid via direct deposit, but instead via a paper check. Okay, fine. Well, that took a few days extra, and got sent someplace he didn't expect it to be, and thus, didn't look for it there. So yeah. That was neato. Then there was his financial aid. It took longer than we expected too.

So now the financial aid is in, the paychecks are in, all is good, right? Well, because of the issues with money (see long, drawn out barf above), I haven't paid on the credit cards, which we have essentially been living off for a while due to lack of funds over the summer due to the aforementioned assistance offered TB as well as me only teaching the one class so as to finish The Beastis (you knew I'd be able to blame some of this on that, didn't you!). SO! My phone has been ringing at all hours, repeatedly. I had no idea that credit card companies could be so horrible. I mean really. It wasn't like I was a year in arrears. It was ONE MISSED PAYMENT. At the end of the day, I would have 15-20 missed calls on my phone (what, did you think I was going to ANSWER those? Some of the messages they left FRIGHTENED me), and god knows how many calls I missed when I would just shut my phone off out of sheer frustration.

SO! Yes, there's more. So I sit down to try to pay off the cards, once Hon's FA came through. I work it all out, figure it out on paper, then do it online through our bank's website. Through my own stupid mistakes, I overpaid on the cards by about $400.

So we have a houseful to feed, and I've fucked the finances. Great job.

Thank goodness the kids are moving in for a while, I've found myself thinking recently. As I watch the news and see the continuing parade of pictures of dead soldiers at the end of the News Hour every night, I worry more and more about The Boy being in Iraq. I have found myself wondering, over and over again, like a broken record, how I am going to stand it when he is gone. How will I avoid becoming a basket case? Have you ever waited for a bus? For a doctor's office? For a dentist's visit? I hate waiting, and I will have to begin a 15 month wait the second that I last see him.

Fortunately, TG and SILy will do a great deal to distract me. Thank God for the distractions of life, and I pray for many of them.

Ah, The Speed With Which Life Changes.

I'm teaching three classes. I'm donedonedone with my thesis. I'm looking at a deadline dealing with a paper to be presented at a conference that is considerably earlier than I thought (okay, I totally forgot about it). I'm looking at some looming deadlines dealing with applying to various other schools (which is, ostensibly, the reason I tool the year off). I have no writing sample to submit with my applications (hopefully my paper that I present can do double duty). I also might have to take the GRE again, dammit, as well as take the subject test. The Girl (TG) just came to stay with us, and is sleeping on the sofa while Son-In-Law (SILy) goes home and tidies things up so that he can come up here too. There's not enough room in this apartment for me and Hon to walk past each other in the hall and frequently get in each other's way in various other rooms. All our closets are full. Her clothes are on a rack in the hallway. The dog is starting to look nervous.
I got a nosebleed the other day. My blood pressure is up again. On the up side, I'm not taking any classes, so I'm able to read more of this awesome series of books I have run across dealing with murder mysteries and herbs. I have always been fascinated with herbs and plants and this series is really great. The funny thing is, though, how happy I really am to have TG here. Things are becoming similar, but not the same, as the way that the were At Home, and I find this reassuring. I have missed, very much, my time as a mom back home when the kids lived with us, then near us.

Then again, I also miss being able to make my morning coffee in the nude. But one can't have everything, can one?