Peacemonger Mom

My son just enlisted in the military. I'm a peace activist. Why couldn't he have rebelled in some other way, like being republican?

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Wow.

End of the semester. I'm scrambling, frantically trying to get the grading done. I'm reading my students' blogs (I'd link to my "real" blog, but...well, you know). I love what I do. I can't believe some of the things that the students have written in their blogs. I feel like Sally Field - "you like me, you really do!"

To be able to stand in front of a group of young women, and talk about things that are so important, and then to have them respond...OMG. It's incredible.

I decided to take classes in paralegal technology when I was standing in line (yeah, I know, what can I say, it was the 80's) to register. I just knew I needed a skill that would get me a job, a job that would pay, because I knew, even then, that my time with the Ex wouldn't end well. Hell, I knew that when I was putting the flowers in my hair for our wedding. I'm learning - slowly - to listen to that small still voice that speaks up and says, "Uh...you DO know, don't you..."

I chose to be a paralegal because I had to make sure that I could support myself, and then TB. The gig at The Firm got me through so much, but that part of my life was about me. That part of my life was about what **I** needed, and what my baby needed. Now, I get to give back. And oh shit, this is about me too! Because I love this. I wouldn't stop doing this if they quit paying me.

I'm totally serious. But don't tell Them.

Hon and I have two completely differing concepts on teaching and what we are doing. He is in it for something other than the benefit of others - not that there's anything wrong with that. :-) He did his time taking care of others.

But what I'm doing - it's incredible, it's important, it's valuable. It makes a difference to these young women.

Do I sound like a total goob? Like a complete moron, just thrilled to be "doing good"? Well, that's just too bad, because I'm "slaving away" in the salt mines of the college world, talking to young women about things that nobody else is. I can't begin to explain how wonderful it feels to stand up in front of a group of people, and talk, and have them LISTEN. Okay, so some of them sleep. But I'm getting so much out of this - it's the best time I've ever had. It's not work, and I've been sitting on the sofa all day, grading, I'm still in my pjs and it's almost 8pm. But this isn't work.

Finding your bliss at the age of 40 is pretty weird, in a way, but then again, not so much.

I love my job. I love my life. If TB would just get transferred to someplace excellent like, oh, I don't know, the North Pole, I'd be thrilled.

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